Sunday, August 29, 2004

the k kills

I did some rewriting of this post now that I'm more sober.

I felt like I nearly killed myself. Such a stupor state to be in. It is true what they say, about memory gap. I really can't recall all the questions thrown to me at that time. All I remember was I went to the loo for the 4th time and I did not successfully come out after that. I think I went in to throw up but somehow, I just sat there with my eyes closed. Almost like my body was switched off and that's without the slightest hint. You see, I was still singing before entering. So my mind then is still capable of reading lyrics and rendering melodies. Back to the questions, probably I'd heard and understood a few, but somehow I just couldn't answer them. Not that I'm a snob or something for ignoring my friends, it's more like feeling extremely lazy and powerless to do so. I can hear some laughter and perhaps they are enjoying what they see.

The next morning was hellish. My first hangover and it's going to be the last. The day started with me realising the memory gap phenomena. Like how I got out of that place and so on. I still got bits of memories of that though albeit its only seconds of flashes of images that manage to register in my mind. I felt ok when I woke up, then I started to puke phlegm. This followed by unknown yellowish liquid when I've got nothing to puke of. Then it got worse. It's like having fever but without the heat. Totally dead and limp. Afterwards I had breakfast and breakfast just stayed in my stomach temporarily because breakfast prefers to end up in the kitchen sink. I tried to fill myself with something coz my tummy felt empty, but somehow my body said fuck you and rejected all out again. After approximately 4 hours or so, I managed to drink a cup of warm water followed by a cup of tea and a piece of bread.

Appetite is gone for the following two days. Fortunately for me, my body is getting normal back.