Sunday, July 10, 2005

To be absorbed in one's thoughts

After going through some tough weeks and yet many more just lying days ahead, I am surprised of this sense of calmness that engulfed me. Possibly this moment of break was caused by the major disruption of network due to the relocation of hardware. I was feeling tired, nauseous, and this deep anguish in me of the bottomless pit of work, untimely eating schedule and lack of sleep.

I keep telling others when I finish this, I will go back and smile contently looking back what I had gone through. When viewing in an optimist eye, the effort and dedication that I had put in will also gain me in terms of a more polished resume, priceless experience, a more refined me and of course, a thick bank account. This is definitely a life changing milestone for me.

However, the days and challenges that I have to pull myself through rendered cynicism and the pessimist in me ever higher than before. I am convinced, people only see the outside. They are only concerned with the outcome, the final result. My peers would only see that I had made a big leap and had struck this pot of opportunity. However one likes to see it as such, I don't.

One without credibility of his own would not be presented with an opportunity of such in the first place. That is how I view it albeit falling into an egoistic manner.