Jokes galore
Time to do spring cleaning of my web-based yahoo email account. It seems that it is always hitting the maximum quota everytime I receive forwarded mails. While deleting some of the mails, I found that I've been keeping some cool jokes. I thought instead of my email account, I'll store it here. hehehe.
Been tired physically today. After lunch at my company's cafeteria, went outside to help out my colleague to change her tyre. Her tyre got busted!!! Anyway me and another guy colleague helped her. Gosh you know the X cross thingy doesn't help much. My friend, that guy, let's call him Small Eyes, he has an extra tool. It just looks like a steel pipe. Which he put it over the X cross thingy tool to extend it therefore enabling more to force to induce on it. Smart!! Anyway done it and go back to office happily with sweat and dirty hands.
Joke Subject: Impressive Selling Skills
A young man moves to Montreal and goes to a big department store looking for a job.
The manager asks, " Do you have any sales experience ?"
The kid, " Yeah, I was a salesman back home ".
Well,the manager liked the young man, so he gave him the job. " You
start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did, but
let me give you a bit of advice. If a ustomer comes looking, say, for
toothpaste, you might suggest for him a toothbrush, or shaving cream
etc. you get the idea ?"
" Of course," the young man said.
His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the
store was locked up, the manager came down. " How many sales did you
make today ?"
The kid says, " One "
The manager groans, " Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales
a day. How much was the sale for ?"
The kid says, " $101,237.64."
The manager exclaims, "What? $ 101,237.64? What did you sell him ?"
The kid, " First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium
fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new
fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said
down at the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went
down to the boat department, and I sold him that twin engine Chris
Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I
took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4X4
Pajero."
The manager says " You mean a guy came in here to buy a fish hook and
you sold him a boat and truck?! "
The kid, " No, no, no, he came in here to buy a box of Kotex for his
wife and I said, " Well, since your weekend's already screwed up, you
might as well go fishing. "
Cool Jokes
3 Tragedies in a man's life:
1- life sucks
2- job sucks
3- Wife does not!
YESTERDAY NEWS: A nun jogging in the park was raped.
TODAY'S NEWS: Hundreds of nuns are jogging in the park!
Question: Why is a waist called a waist?"
Answer: "Because anything above the penis and below
the tits is a waste"
A lady tells her Man: "I demand good manners in bed, just like at the dinner table". The man climbs into bed slowly and says "Honey, would you please pass me the vagina?"
Been tired physically today. After lunch at my company's cafeteria, went outside to help out my colleague to change her tyre. Her tyre got busted!!! Anyway me and another guy colleague helped her. Gosh you know the X cross thingy doesn't help much. My friend, that guy, let's call him Small Eyes, he has an extra tool. It just looks like a steel pipe. Which he put it over the X cross thingy tool to extend it therefore enabling more to force to induce on it. Smart!! Anyway done it and go back to office happily with sweat and dirty hands.
Joke Subject: Impressive Selling Skills
A young man moves to Montreal and goes to a big department store looking for a job.
The manager asks, " Do you have any sales experience ?"
The kid, " Yeah, I was a salesman back home ".
Well,the manager liked the young man, so he gave him the job. " You
start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did, but
let me give you a bit of advice. If a ustomer comes looking, say, for
toothpaste, you might suggest for him a toothbrush, or shaving cream
etc. you get the idea ?"
" Of course," the young man said.
His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the
store was locked up, the manager came down. " How many sales did you
make today ?"
The kid says, " One "
The manager groans, " Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales
a day. How much was the sale for ?"
The kid says, " $101,237.64."
The manager exclaims, "What? $ 101,237.64? What did you sell him ?"
The kid, " First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium
fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new
fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said
down at the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went
down to the boat department, and I sold him that twin engine Chris
Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I
took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4X4
Pajero."
The manager says " You mean a guy came in here to buy a fish hook and
you sold him a boat and truck?! "
The kid, " No, no, no, he came in here to buy a box of Kotex for his
wife and I said, " Well, since your weekend's already screwed up, you
might as well go fishing. "
Cool Jokes
3 Tragedies in a man's life:
1- life sucks
2- job sucks
3- Wife does not!
YESTERDAY NEWS: A nun jogging in the park was raped.
TODAY'S NEWS: Hundreds of nuns are jogging in the park!
Question: Why is a waist called a waist?"
Answer: "Because anything above the penis and below
the tits is a waste"
A lady tells her Man: "I demand good manners in bed, just like at the dinner table". The man climbs into bed slowly and says "Honey, would you please pass me the vagina?"