Friday, August 26, 2005

Now what

I cannot wipe out the past. Even if it is mind numbing, heart wrenching or sick that you can feel it in the stomach. Simply because it is what that made me who I am today. Never would I have thought how the events for the past few years would unfold like they did. Never did I imagined myself to ride a camel on an extremely hot day, or got lost in the desert in darkness, or wear shorts about regardless that I am in an Arab country or that it is winter time, or live like there is nothing but work for each week brings about 100 hours of them. But I can chart my way ahead. It is important to have a plan. An optimistic one. You only think again when it begins to fall apart. I am ready to liberate myself.

Never had I, the urge, so strong soaring inside, seeping into my mind and my mind translating it into a sequence of imaginative events of the hopeful what ifs. And that made happy somewhat and caused me to almost being too outspoken about it.

The following days will be crucial as the decision will be made. I am just waiting for consent from family. Not that they dictate my life but with support and encouragement everything will flow smoothly and things will be done easier.

I hope I can make it for my trip to Hong Kong before embarking into my next career stage. That would be ideal. Ideal enough for me.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

when it is time to say goodbye

Sitting on a ledge together, side by side of another, they look far ahead over the horizon. There is neither the ocean nor the greens and not even the stars that met their eyes. However, that did not seem disturb them as they continue to just look in front and enjoy the occasional small gush of wind blowing against their face.

He is sitting on the left of her while holding her hand and placing it on his lap.
He is always on the left side whenever he is near her for some reason. He has this uncanny preference to be on the left regardless whether it is standing, sitting or walking beside her.

They talk and talk about friends, and of work, and of studies and of anything else that came about in their mind. Eventually, there will be a gap of silence. Both seem to just enjoy the others presence and bask in the silence between them.

With a shine against her body from behind; a shadow of hers falls in front covering a longish shade on the ground. They knew time for and between them are running out. Instinctively he knew her ride was here. She took a deep breath and then threw her arms around him.

"Ermm...I..I gotta go. See ya later. Take care"

Before he could form any words to reply, she stood up and walk towards the shiny silver Mercedes. She looked at him and put on a smile so wide that her eyes could not be seen.

"Okay. Bye", he finally replied.

That look was almost as if it is going to be his last glimpse of her face, he thought to himself. Knowingly if such is to happen, she would have put up a smile like that. She is always one to not tell all and everything seems to be all fine and dandy with her to other people. But in reality, he knows better.

He could not fathom why she would have said those words. She was leaving to another country with just some hours left from the moment she stood up. It wasn't the wait of some years that he fears. He told himself that plans don't always work in life as history has taught him that. He couldn't grasp whether they would ever meet again as if they were strangers who walked past each other in the moment which is known as coincidence.

He saw the Mercedes left whilst standing like a statue because he was unable to move. Strangely so, as if he was spellbound. Either that or he simply refused to move.

He decides to return before the darkness falls.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Support, I need also

Doing support can be so exhausting, I learned. This is especially so when the underlying design of the entire architecutre is so bad. I am strictly against web-based for this kind of system. Reliability is the priority. I don't mind the extra work on installation. At least those are one off.

I had voiced out but my opinions are unheard of. Probably they are just not as smart as I am. Either that or they knew but shrug them off because ultimately I am the only peon anyway. Only the developers and others with the same rank grumble along with me on these stupid decisions.

All the counters are giving problems today. Before I even managed to complete one, another was calling for me already.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

I can't find my breakfast

Just came out of the boss's room and was thrown with a slew of tasks yet again. Who is to blame when I am the only worker here? While being bogged down, suddenly I hear footsteps behind me. It was Krishnan, a general worker here, bringing me a cup of hot tea. It is times like these little things counts.

I need to learn so many things

After reading juniortok and inspired by his latest post, I shall post of what I need to learn by working and living in Bahrain.

I too have so many things to learn. I need to learn how to fast and not only in month of Ramadan.

I need to learn that honking here doesn't incite anger, is not rude and is just a way of communication on the road. I need to learn to honk others more often.

I need to learn that chinese food here taste like indian food. I need to learn that chowmein is not the same as fried noodles. I need to learn that fast food does not equal economical food so much so that most labourers here could not afford such a meal.

I need to learn that the water heater follows the weather. I have to learn that there are two kinds of water here; the normal salty tap water and the drinking tasteless sweet water.

I need to learn that people here dress only in either black or white depending on their gender. I need to learn that there are no thin people here. I need to learn that there are many bald people here. And that is why they all wear ghatras (the table cloth head gear). I need to learn that women here shop for clothes, wears them but covers them over with a big black abaya.

I need to learn that in order to grow flowers or even grasses; you need to install water pipes surrounding the targeted area.

I need to learn that teenagers drive Mercedes S Class here. I need to learn that local teenagers hangout in the night sitting in a circle on roundabouts. I need to learn that female teenagers hangout in the night sitting on grasses by the beach.

I need to learn that car wash business here means an Indian on his bicycle with a pail of water. I need to learn that car wash business owners gather around car parks.

Many of these do not make sense to me and perhaps even more so to others reading this. Nevertheless, that is how things are and change is what we have to adapt to.

Friday, August 05, 2005

Another dive of amplitude

I had returned to the land without clouds. Only the vast blue sky and scorching hot heat sums out the surroundings.

Instead of the usual route back here via Doha, I had chosen Cathay Pacific this time as I thought and hoped this would be my last trip to here. So I might as well experience and understand myself as to why other colleagues have been hyped about and praising this airline and the transit at Hong Kong airport.

Indeed the service and flight entertainment has been top notched. This however was set back with an additional 4 hours or so just to get here. And that is some pain in the ass.

As I arrived at HK airport and I looked around, the first thing that caught my sight made me go "Holy crap. Those are some crazy tall condominiums" in my head. And then I saw the goddamn immigration queue. It was in a snake shape and unbelievably long. The passenger next to me, a Malaysian but works in Hong Kong as a MD told me that queue would take at least 1 hour but lucky for her, she has a HK citizen card and the checkpoint is but a brisk moment for her.

I wandered around myself around the HK airport and was looking at the screens for my departure gate. After spending about 3 minutes squinting at the screens, a lady came up next to me and asked "How can I help you?" I thought to myself then "Wow that's some great service" but I told her "Ngo yi ging wan dou ler. Mm goi sai".

I went and exchanged USD 50 to HK Dollars at the travelex to pay for my meal. To my dismay and which escaped my logic, the food shops upstairs actually accepts USD and offered a higher exchange rate than the one below. It is cumbersome to arrange the currencies as I had 4 types of different currencies with me that time. So I seperated them into my different pockets and wallet.

I had Roasted Goose with Cantonese Noodles for HK 55. Didn't want to feel inferior for being unable to read, I had ordered the meal in English instead.

Already back at work even though it is a rest day of the week and a slew of tasks waiting to be finished. I already can't wait to go back.

My boss told me when I was in KL that "..this will be the first and last time that we will approach a project like this. Lucky you". That got me dumbfounded. I wondered whether or not that that is a good thing.

Monday, August 01, 2005

To the north now

Everytime I come back for a short holiday ala recuperation trip, the same things always happen. And most often, I find myself again readjusting my direction and realise my bearings in all aspects of life. Some of it would have better aim and direction to head to while some will remain unanswered.

Sometimes, you don't realise what you are doing as working life can be unbelievably hectic. Everyday is spent rushing for the next and after a prolonged period of this, one would easily get distorted.

Catching up with family and friends has enabled me to take a glimpse back and chart the way forward. As of this moment, I'm glad to have planned two future trips. A vacation trip to Hong Kong and another trip to Shanghai the following year for business.

I am surprised myself how decisions I've made before I return to KL almost always change. That's how easily one can be distorted when left isolated not keeping in touch with the rest.

I've just received my first Notice of Renewal of one of my FD along with the current statement. Although not by much, I'm glad to see it grew. And I did nothing. That is the best part of it all. But let's not take in the depression part as to how inflation is going to eat it away.