Monday, February 28, 2005

Oi! Fan Loi lor

Somehow I felt that there is this compelling ardor in me of which I do not comprehend truly of its nature or what it is for. At times like this, it felt like you have hit a pause looking up at the vast empty sky and you began to wander about the past and the coming days.

Often enough, especially recently, I tend to drift away thinking back about the yonder days of yore in my little reverie moment. Wondering if things are supposed to happen the way they have, had I done my part without any tinge of regret and whether are all actually somehow fixated and adheres to what we term it as being destined. And yet that could simply be just me being anal wanting to point a finger.

I hope all confounding moments like this is only ephemeral.

Please ignore or discard any attempts of interactions regarding this post. This is an emo and confounding rambling.

On an unrelated note, even before weighing the problems and issues that surround us, it dawns on me that this project deadline and its milestones are a complete joke. Even if you suffocate and press every project members and those that reside in Malaysia, my bet is it would not happen the way it supposed to be. In my opinion, this is not being pessimistic but rather I would call it pragmatic and realistic after all the experience and personally seeing the number of times the plans had failed here.

The core of the problem is top dogs only care to get it in time for financial, political and media publication reasons. What and how things happen under the various triangles is not of concern to them.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

why the hiatus

I only realised how much I miss KL and how much Bahrain sucks until I got back. It is good that I didn't feel it that way when I was there. I was totally consumed with work throughout and this helps by sustaining me there without having my thoughts wandering elsewhere.

However I wasn't too happy either with my short stay here. I didn't get to achieve something I set out long back and somehow my appetite sort of pull off from the plug. As luck would have it, it has to be during Chinese New Year when you are suppose to feast. And it came across my mind several times just because of all this that it sucks to be me.

Probably I was being paranoid but there was a moment I felt I was at the lowest. I kept looking up and think 'When you are at your lowest, the only way is up'. I think I got over it a little by now and felt that I suddenly saw a bigger picture altogether. One which requires commitment, sacrifice and a big leap of faith without asking anything back. I would say yes without giving a second thought but I'm still perplexed with vague answers and this is my plight for the moment. Then again, I am very much of a worrier and I'm afraid that after all, I could be lost in the secluded corner at the back of my mind. People look up on me with admiration sometimes with envy but little did they know that cynical and melancholy resides in me all the time.

I was and still am very much upset with many that's going on. This constitutes a major part in the decision to close loonatik.

Major hiatus

This blog will be closed indefinitely until further notice for reasons undisclosed.

Thanks for visiting.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005


Seems I didn't really post much recently. Not at a rate that I would prefer. The fact of the matter is that I did not have the time to actually sit down and compose a post. Throughout the days there were often scintillas of moments which I registered mentally and decided to blog about. Nevertheless, things that were far more important have to take precedence and I was distracted towards that direction. However as time passes by, those thoughts seems to lose it's significance and essence, ultimately leading me to just abandon the whole idea altogether. So here is some random bits that somehow survived to hang on to the cliff of my mind.


The digression is so absurd that it is making me sick.


Somehow, when any indian describes with their ever favourite "Same same" phrase, it cracks me up.


While I was looking at the schedule, worrying for what that is to come and to visualise what needs to be done to get to the crucial date, I realised I need not worry for I believe one word could sum it all up. Impossible.


I was having my breakfast alone and two bahrainis I presume were sitting next to my table.

Bahraini 1: "yada yada yada" (in arabic)
*looking at me*

Bahraini 2: "yada yada yada" (in arabic)
*looking at me*

Me: *eats cheese and omelette sandwich*

Bahraini 2: "Speaking arabic?"

Me: "No"

Me: *smiles wryly*

Bahraini 1: "yada yada yada (in arabic) Bahrain school yada yada"

Me: -.-"

Me: "Bahrain school? No no. I work here. In CIO"

Me: *points towards poster and direction of CIO's location*

Bahraini 2: "You japanese?"

Me: -.-"