I hate computers sometimes

Was still working on the web reporting system and things did not go well I would say. Firstly, I failed to write a text file through ASP. That made me look like a retarded donkey. After hours of trying and debugging codes, heck, there is no mistake in the code. Crap. Then I resorted to seek information help from messageboards or forums. Gosh. I came to the conclusion that the Antivirus software was to be blamed as well as the permission settings for file and folders and a weird file called scrrun.dll. Damn it.

Secondly, my colleague was frustrated and shouting at me for not being able to access my pc or my share folder for the treasures contained inside. Finally, today I solve it. How? Damn the computer. I just unshare the folder and share it again by giving it a new name. That works wonder. Computers create unnecessary frustration and causes logical confusion "kik lou" to your brain and that's not good.

I was chatting to my chowbin this morning, updating him the situation of work and also about the rest now. I did blurt out that my life now seem like I'm in form 3 or standard 3. I need to wake up every weekdays when the clock is still depicting 6 something. And I already feel sleepy by the time the clock hits 9. Argh. I feel like my grandfather.

I hate Session variables

Typical day at job today. Been doing a lot of debugging and writing of ASP pages for this current web reporting system.

Been meddling around with SQL so much for today. Hmmm things are going fine. It looks like development is progressing. However, it must be noted that when things work fine as expected, then I'll feel cool. It works. It's good. I'm god. Muahahaha. When things did not work. Like the pesky Session variables that displayed itself in the header file but not on the main body. What in the bloody hell is the reason for that? Argh. Sometimes you can't solve everything. So you just gotta live on with it and hope things don't screw up. If it screws up then blame it on the hardware. *grin*

Hmmm. Been using this medium to let go some thoughts + anger + frustration + stress + more, in a rather provoking and exaggerated manner but tastefully done in literature. ;)

Double D

When I go back home after work everyday, I'll tune into Radio 4 to listen to Labour Pains. Double D and Jeevs. Very cool pair. Better than the Hitz team. Their choices of music is cool too. It's just the way they speak to people and comment on things that is down to earth, practical and familiar with everyday life's conversation that seemed to trigger my interest.

Double D in particular is very funny. The way he speaks has this typical indian and malaysian accent. I'll just pop up some of his quotes that did make me laugh or smile.

"You are a champion lah", When commenting on receiving flowers "It is not masculine", When commenting on receiving flowers again "It is just so not cool", When trying hard to understand Matrix Revolutions story "What is the story man", "Who is Sati", When commenting to a caller who said he is in a traffic jam, "Nevermind", When commenting about google, "You've been google whacked".

Double D made my day everyday when I need to go through the Tasik Selatan jam daily.

Melancholic Mind

My uncle just passed away yesterday night. He is my mother's elder brother. This news came to me when I reached home around 3AM. My mom said "Your uncle died in a car accident". Silent I was at then, I went into my room to rest with no thoughts whatsoever.

This morning when I woke up, my parents were not in their bedrooms. I received a call later from my mom mandated me to take care of my 3 younger brothers and bring them out for breakfast. OK. The reality sense of this situation is proliferating. I was callous yet feeling rueful. When my youngest brother woke up. I told him about this news. He is 12 years old. He thought I was joking. When I told him, No, I'm not joking. It's the truth. Why could you not accept it as a fact? He said "It is not a fact so I cannot believe it". I said "It was a fact so you must believe it, I'm seriously not joking". He said "No, it's not". Eventhough this news has disseminated to him, he just couldn't accept it. He told me, "If you cry then I'll believe it" challenging me with a smile.

Today has been a very thought provoking day for me. I suddenly felt this predicament has turned me into a philanthrophist of some kind. Money has lost its importance at the moment. I do not seek to be rich for today. My uncle was 46 years old. He owns 2 shops, a double storey terrace house and one wira. He was going through a difficult period of family problems and the idea of divorce. He just left everything behind now. I feel human is extremely fragile. I lost hope for what is known to be "long term investment". I feel that we should be happy everday until our day comes.

The funeral is yet to be conducted. Till that day comes, I am sure this weird state of mind for today is going to be significantly emphasized. I hope things will result to normal. Everyone will get on with their own life again just like 2 days ago. But is that constant thinking of becoming a successful person in financial terms are to be termed as normal life? Or is the vigilance for everyday life and enjoyment of everyday life for life is fragile is normal? I am stuck and confused.

Busted

Haven't blog for the past few days. Watched The Matrix Revolutions last Sunday. Well it was quite disappointing. I still prefer the other two. It wasn't so bad for me because I went and watch with a friend who have not watch the first two episodes before. How about that? *grin*.

Not good not good

I got sick yesterday. Went to Klinik Tan & Mano at the Recreation centre of TPM. Got an mc for that day. Fever + Flu + Sorethroat ler. Aiyor. Now the sorethroat is making me cough as well. Not yet fully recovered from my illness but then I only got one day's of mc. The fever I would say has gone but the Flu and sorethroat is definitely still active. I'm sure the cough is catching up as well. Damn. I've been given some VB source codes to study. Woah. I've never seen how VB could be as complicated as that. I just can't digest the codes eventhough I got the design specs document. Was it because I'm sicked?

I learnt several things yesterday. When you are sick, the relationship of friends / colleagues / family becomes evident. You just need and appreciate it. Secondly, never underestimate anybody. There are quite a number of female programmers in this company. They are good! I can assure you that. To be honest, I've always been skeptical of female programmers because all the female coursemates throughout my days of college and university just can't program. But now, I've given them a higher level of respect primarily to the female programmers here.

TVB movies

Hmm usual routine in office today. Go with breakfast, then my newspaper, then on the pc and surf my usual sites including online newspaper around the world. I wonder when will this life with no work will end. There was a guy colleague. Let's call him Uncle Weirdo. I don't know him. He's the dude who sits next to the toilet. :). Spoke to me for the ever first time. The way he talks and the stupid don't work jokes that he tells are out of this world. I guess he's like touching 40. But he is holding a position like me? What a weirdo.

I also had a small chat with Wei Shung (darren). According to him, I got a lepakz life here. Well yeah. He's right. But they call it learning period here. When the projects roll in I think I will be an important asset for them by then. Muahahaaha.

[Edited: Corrected the right spelling for my friend's name]

Weekend Report

It's not so much of a fun and happening weekend actually. On friday night, met up with a friend whom I have not see for bout 2 years. He is my ex MCSE classmate. Gosh all of them had taken their MCSE exams and are now MCP + MCSE + MCSA. What do I have? Nothing. Tada. Anyway he says he is going to share his project that he works on in the weekends. Ok. Fine. Then I thought he needed my help in programming or helping him in some freelance work. Then he popped out a question. "If I give you 3 million and time, What do you want to do?". Eih. That sounds really fishy. Well he just asked in a casual and jokingly way. Ok. I just ramble out some of my dreams which are still kinda realistic like owning a beamer, some vacation to japan and yada yada. Then he begin to draw out some brochures / pamphlets / flash cards. Aih? Shit! I just realised he is going to talk me into MLM (Multi Level Marketing). Damn. I hate MLM. I like my friend but MLM has gotten into his head. I hate the uplines and downlines crap. They can brainwash people. I've seen not once, not twice but several times how MLM has got into my friends. From Elken, Amway, Lamp Berger to some car insurance thingy. The variations are endless. The concept is the same. These kind of pyramid scheme is pure scam. Yes, it will benefit some people who are great in brainwashing people. Yes they make money out of it. But for how long? I think it wouldn't stop. There will be more naive youth or other untapped aunties-aunties. I just hope that he can keep his MLM aside and we be close friends like we used to. Talk about our usual and favourite topics including wrestling again.

On Sunday, my mom decided to go to Ulu Yam just for lunch. WTF? She heard from another aunty that recommends that place. I'm highly doubtful about that place. Gosh. Finally we reached, we ordered and we ate it all up. My rating of it? Slightly below OK level.

F**K kaspersky

Just some blogging I must do. Its 2:16 AM now. It's rather strange that I'm still awake considering after joining the workforce my average sleeping time scattered around 9:30 to 10:30. Whoa. I just freaked out half an hour ago. Why? My laptop failed to boot into the login screen once, failed to gimme control to login once, fail to load desktop once, failed to gimme control over windows 4 times. Shit. I thought my pc is dying man. It all came after I install kaspersky bloody antivirus software. It even came with the pirated key. There was once when the kaspersky was about to load and stay at my taskbar, I swiftly rightclick and quit that damn app. Phew. Finally I got control over windows again. Guess what did I do next? Go to Control Panel and hehehe. Remove!

My mind was like focused more on the lost of data should my pc be dead. Argh. All my previous college and university work, my thousand photos from UK, and others. The rest of the stuffs I might be able to get it back but it will be hard and this is very not desirable. I need to do backup. But how? I do not have external hard disk. Will it cost me bout 500? Aiyor. I do not have CDRW on my laptop. The only thing I can do is copy the stuff to my old desktop pc. But now that has become my brother's property. The worse thing is I highly suspect that, that pc has been virus contaminated. God knows what my brothers have been doing with that pc. Damn KaZaa. Can't blame them too much though. You have to grow mature in using pc I would say.

Mood: Frustrated and Indecisive

I guess I'm moving into a cold war right now. Me vs Mom. She has been into her dictator profile again + nagging non stop option. I just bloody hate it when she brings up things from history and use it against the issue. Arrgghhh. Second thing. Don't bloody compare!!! I remember reading Tun Dr. Mahathir's remark in a newspaper article few days ago. "You can win, but you cannot win them all. You will lose, but you will not lose it all!". That just really sums up my thoughts about my mother's remarks. Am I not matured enough to analysed her point? Or does she likes to be difficult? I really don't know. Thirdly, if you are going to give. Give it willingly and shut your mouth about it! If you talk about it like you are giving so reluctantly, then bloody don't give in the first place.

Well. Just to write down my thoughts for the day. I hope that one day I will read this back and think that I'm wrong at the present moment and my mom is right. That would be ideal but sincerely, I don't think that's how it will be. I just feel unjust right now.

Hmmm. Well let's move on. Send my car into car wash today. They given me a card with 7 slots for signature. If I come back for 7 return visits, I get a free car wash. This looks familiar. Even car wash business plagiarise other businesses ideas.

Another note, this Saturday is so weird. I stayed at home the whole day and night. Really weird. I haven't done this since I'm like Form One. Hmmm I wonder what's wrong with me?